Ugly-crying

Everything has been wrong lately. I feel like crying for no reason, or, no reason that I know. I’m starting to think I might be depressed, but I don’t want to think that.

I want to be one of the happy people. The girl that smiles and wears colorful clothes. Not the sad girl with dark clothes.

It started a couple of days ago. I’ve learned something through the past year: If my expectations for the day are high, I’m most likely gonna be disappointed. So, I decided to have low expectations that day too. And everything screwed up. I ugly-cried after a really sad movie we watched at school. It was really awkward, and I felt like shit afterwards. After that day, I’ve been really upset almost all the time.

Tomorrow I’m visiting a friend. I’m afraid I’m gonna be like this when I’m there, too. I don’t want her to think that I’m sad.

Is there any people out there who is depressed? I need to know if I’m heading in that directon too. And if I am, what might help.

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