Fear

I fear so many things (as you can see in that other post of mine). The deep oceans, getting humiliated, I could go on for a long time. But the thing I’m going to write about today, is my fear of not knowing what people think about me.

Now, I don’t usually worry about wether someone likes me or not, because I know my friends like me and that’s enough. But this one person, you know him from my previous post (the guy I started chatting with, the guy who made me sooo happy) is now making me extremely nervous. You see, I don’t know if he likes me the way I like him.

At first, we both made it clear that we liked each other; one tells the other how great the other person looks today, hearts and kissy emojis is used frequently, all that stuff.
Now, after about a month, he stopped using as many hearts and stuff, he doesn’t text me as often, and it has only gotten worse and worse. I don’t know why, and that makes me sad, worried, and I think about it constantly. This probably sounds very paranoid of me, but trust me: If you had seen how our texts have changed, you’d think something else. He’s more… distant…

So the question is: Should I tell him how I feel? I don’t want to, I just want everything to be like it was in the first place: Me waking up happy every day, thinking about him and smiling, talking to him every hour or so.
But no, here’s what it’s like now: Me waking up not knowing how the day’ll be, thinking about him all the time but not knowing if I should smile or cry, talking to him for about a minute, two times a day.

So; I kind of wish I never even talked to him in the first place, because I don’t want to feel this way, not now. I also want us to talk like we did before. I can manage with us talking maybe three times a day or something, but I want those conversations to be just as great as those before were.

I need your help: What’s the best thing to do here? Continue talking to him like nothing’s wrong and hope for it to go back to normal? Confront him about it, ask him how he feels? Or something else? I don’t know, so please help.

Thanks for reading. Stay (happy), stay awkward…

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