Disconnected

I’m on the edge of disconnecting again. I don’t want that to happen, but I feel it happening and I don’t think I’ll be able do stop it. The world is spinning. Everything is tilted, nothing is straight. My mind is out of control. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to be happy, I want to be sad, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know anything, except everything is tilted right now, maybe about 30 degrees or something. I’m disconnecting. I think I am. I do not want to. Yet I want to. I have the playlist ready for it on Spotify. If I disconnect, I will make it public. Fuck it, I’ll make it public right now.

Things are tilting back to normal again. No, wait, the world just tilted back. But it’s okay, I am about to disconnect. I kind of want to disconnect now. I feel like I am outside my own body, yet I still feel like me. Tilting back now. I’m back. Back to normal. Still half disconnected. Tilting again. Back to 30 degrees. No, tilting back to normal again. That is it, just disconnect already. It’s okay, just for a little while. A couple of days disconnected won’t hurt me.

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