I love you . . . ?

THOSE. WORDS. Filled with emotions. Filled with… Well… Love. Here is my story with this phrase and why I do not use it.

If you have read my previous posts, you know about my ex. Now, he started saying he loved me from very early in our relationship. The first time he said it, I was like ¨What. The. Fuck. No. Nonono please dear God no. Do I have to say it back now? What about my promise?¨ What is my promise? My promise is that I will not say those words if I am not absolutely sure that I mean them. Don’t get me wrong; I was IN LOVE with him. I had feelings for him. However I did NOT love him.

How can I say this? Easy: I do not know what love is. I mean, I know about caring for each other and all that stuff, but true love? Never experienced that, and I probably wont for many years.

So, my ex. He said he loved me, and I just kind of talked it away or something. Some time later I explained to him what those words mean to me, and that I did not feel comfortable saying them to him because I feel like they are words that belong to grown ups who hve had more than just one relationship in their life, or at least have been together for a really long time. He said he understood, but he kept saying it to me. I am not sure if he actually understood the great meaning the words have for me, and I am not sure if he wanted me to still say it back, or if he was fine with me not saying it.

After a while, we found this kind of golden mean: A sort of goofy variety of the words. You know, kind of like that dog that can ¨talk¨ and goes ¨I raw yoooou¨… It kind of took the serious love part away from it, which made me a little more comfortable saying it.

Well, that was pretty much it. So to sum up my opinion on the words ¨I love you¨: They are for those who LOVE each other, NOT for those who are IN LOVE with each  other. A teenager can not know what true love is in my opinion. I know, maybe you have another opinion, but this is at least mine.

Let me know in the comments what you opnion on these magical words are. Do you use the phrase? If so, how often? I am very interested in hearing your stories and views on these things.

So I’ll talk to you later, guys. Have a nice weekend. 😀

Stay happy, stay awkward

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