What the heck’s wrong with me?

I mean, am I mentally and/or emotionally unstable? Can someone please explain this to me? What is going on??

Hey guys. So, I’ve had a great day. Top notch, good banter. Played at a concert too. It was fun. All in all, a good day. Until nightfall. I have no idea why, but my mood dropped faster than… I don’t even know what, but it dropped fast. Like, I felt fine one moment, then, the next moment, I felt so angry! It was like, I just felt annoyed and angry at first, but then it evolved to near-breakdown-motherfucking-rage-mode. I just wanted to scream and hit something. And then, without warning, near-breakdown-motherfucking-rage-mode evolved to crying-out-of-frustration-mode. I mean what?? Is this normal? Well, I’m quite sure it’s  not normal, but have any of you guys felt the same way?

Maybe it was just a one time thing? Maybe I just have a lot of feelings wanting to come out after my period of not caring? Speaking of period; maybe It’s almost that time of the month? I mean, I usually feel very down, sad & stuff right before it, and maybe this is something my body does just to get some change? Let’s just hope it’s that fucking period that’s messing me up again. It’s just as terrifying every goddamn time, because every time, I think I’m getting depressed or something.

Okay, so, mystery solved? Perhaps. Let’s hope so. I’ll let you guys know if  figure that I was right. Oh, and a question for all you females out there: What do you experience before and during your period? By that I mean apart from the obvious blood flowing out of your vagina, as if that wasn’t already quite obvious… Okay that was all byeee!

Stay happy, stay awkward.

Nothing special, really

Hey guys! Long time no see! If you want to know why I haven’t been here for… God knows how long… I don’t have any valid reasons. Sorry.

Well, lately everything’s been good. Or, well, at least average. I downloaded this app that tracks my mood to figure out how good a life I’ve got (you know, mood-wise), and ever since then, things have felt better. I think long and hard about how every day has been, what positive and what negative sides there have been to that day. So in average, my mood is alright. I recommend doing something like this (I suppose it’s basically just a diary, but I’m too lazy to be writing a bunch of stuff every day…). The results (at least for me) were surprisingly positive.

I’ve started talking to this guy I met a while back. He’s awesome. However, we are not flirting or anything. You see, he has a girlfriend. I was kind of disappointed when he said it, but of course I still want to talk to him and become better friends. It’s very easy to talk to him. If only he lived in my town, you know. Who knows, maybe we’d be dating (which probably would end bad because let’s be real; not a lot of teenage relationships last) or we’d be good friends. 🙂

I finally managed to cry a couple of weeks ago. I’ll be completely honest here: for some reason I have not been able to cry when I feel like it. In fact, I haven’t been crying for several months, not until that time at least. Now I am glad I’ve gotten over this careless phase, it was pretty bad. I didn’t really feel anything, I cared less than I wish I did. I actually mostly cared about the fact that I didn’t really care about a lot of stuff. But hey, that’s in the past now.

Today’s one of those thinking days. It was an alright day, but later in the evening, my head just started thinking. Not about anything in particular, but it made me kind of like… uhm… thoughtful? Well, I just locked myself into my own brain for a little while, but I think I’m better now.

Other than that, there’s no exciting news. I’m sorry, I promise that I’ll update you if anything worth writing about shows up… or if I just feel like writing something.

Until next time,
Stay happy, stay awkward ^_^