Hey guys! So I promised you guys a happier post than the previous one, so here it is.
Remember the guy I mentioned in one of my last posts? The one with a girlfriend? Well, he is single. Or, he was single since a while after that post, up until a few weeks ago. I am also not single anymore. Do you see where I’m going with this? I am sure you do.
So yeah, that happened: We’re in a relationship. I know, he lives far away and all, but not so far that it is impossible to meet him now and then without it being a big journey. (It only takes four hours by bus… heh… hehe…)
If you have read some of my earlier posts, you might know that I claimed to have fears for certain… activities… Such activities including anything sexual. But, uhm… After visiting this guy for a weekend, I am starting to doubt this. Everything felt so safe when I was with him, as if nothing could hurt me. All insecurities disappeared, and all that was left, was nervousness and excitement. And, if I may say this without it getting too awkward; passion. In all honesty, from the bottom of my heart: I never knew I could feel this way. And I could never have imagined what it would be like. Time stood still, my heart was racing. I felt his heartbeat, I synchronized my breathing with his. I get all the cheesy metaphors now. I get the tumblr quotes. I think… I think I get love.
We did not have sex. There was no pressure to do anything. The things we did, were done because we both wanted to, not because one wanted it and the other one wanted to be nice, or ¨not be a tease¨. It was a perfect weekend. It helped me in so many ways. And, at least it seemed like it; it helped him as well.
We are not perfect, not at all. We have flaws, we have problems. He has problems, big time. And I want to be there for him, for ever. I want to ease his pain in any way possible, even if it means pain for me. As far as I know at the moment, I would do anything for him.
That was just me talking about a happy happening that happened to me. Those were a lot of ¨happ¨s in one sentence… heh. I’ll see you later.
Stay happy, stay awkward.