Something happier

Hey guys! So I promised you guys a happier post than the previous one, so here it is.

Remember the guy I mentioned in one of my last posts? The one with a girlfriend? Well, he is single. Or, he was single since a while after that post, up until a few weeks ago. I am also not single anymore. Do you see where I’m going with this? I am sure you do.

So yeah, that happened: We’re in a relationship. I know, he lives far away and all, but not so far that it is impossible to meet him now and then without it being a big journey. (It only takes four hours by bus… heh… hehe…)

If you  have read some of my earlier posts, you might know that I claimed to have fears for certain… activities… Such activities including anything sexual. But, uhm… After visiting this guy for a weekend, I am starting to doubt this. Everything felt so safe when I was with him, as if nothing could hurt me. All insecurities disappeared, and all that was left, was nervousness and excitement. And, if I may say this without it getting too awkward; passion. In all honesty, from the bottom of my heart: I never knew I could feel this way. And I could never have imagined what it would be like. Time stood still, my heart was racing. I felt his heartbeat, I synchronized my breathing with his. I get all the cheesy metaphors now. I get the tumblr quotes. I think… I think I get love.

We did not have sex. There was no pressure to do anything. The things we did, were done because we both wanted to, not because one wanted it and the other one wanted to be nice, or ¨not be a tease¨. It was a perfect weekend. It helped me in so many ways. And, at least it seemed like it; it helped him as well.

We are not perfect, not at all. We have flaws, we have problems. He has problems, big time. And I want to be there for him, for ever. I want to ease his pain in any way possible, even if it means pain for me. As far as I know at the moment, I would do anything for him.

That was just me talking about a happy happening that happened to me. Those were a lot of ¨happ¨s in one sentence… heh. I’ll see you later.

Stay happy, stay awkward.

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‘I broke up with him…’, and ‘I won a championship!’

Hey guys.

So, I’ve broken up with my boyfriend. A couple days ago. A week ago? Almost a week ago, yeah.

He cheated on me. And I got to know that from his friend. So, I confronted him, and we talked… And yeah, he says he doesn’t remember anything (he was drunk…) but I don’t know if that’s completely true… -.-

Alright, I guess that’s all there is to say about that matter… So, to the championship! This weekend I’ve been in a city, where I’ve been competing in a championship in taekwon-do. I won! Gold medal! F*ck yeah! I got to meet old friends, made new friends and it was just a really really really nice weekend. I wish I could go back in time and experience that weekend once more… Oh well, I’ll just have to wait until the next championship. :3

I’m doing all right. Kinda weird time for me, I guess… My previous post is something I wrote a couple of months ago, but I posted it now because I felt like it.  Like, I’m kind of disconnected, as y’all know I love calling it, but I’m alright. Imma try to listen to what I wrote for myself in that letter…

That’s all. You have a fantastic day and a fantastic week!

Stay happy, stay awkward ^^

Happiness

Have you ever just… well… felt really fucking happy?
I’m talking happy as in so happy that you don’t know what to do with yourself? Have you ever felt like that?

That happened to me today. I just suddenly thought about everything, and started crying… Yes, I cried. I guess that’s my body’s reaction to overwhelming feelings, wether it be sadness, embarrassment or happiness.

Now, if you’re wondering what made me feel so happy so suddenly, here’s all the reasons I came up with:

1. I’m just in a generally good mood today.
I’ve been in a good mood pretty much the entire day.

2. I struggled with math, but suddenly understood everything.
Big math test tomorrow=stress. I didn’t understand anything, then, completely out of the blue, I understood everything.
3. It’s my birthday soon.
A bit childish to be excited about my birthday? No, not to me. Besides, I’ll be on a bus to Russia on my birthday, so that’s a little different from my normal birthdays…

4. I’m almost done with the worst part about school.
Finals weeks are coming up, which means they’ll soon be over. Thank goodness.

5. I have someone, someone who I like, who likes me, he’s amazing.
Yep, I’ve met someone. He’s incredible, we’ve got the same taste in music, we both practice taekwon-do, he’s really handsome, he thinks I’m cute and yeah… ^^

6. All of the above, and lots of little things like chill school days, good mood, great friends etc. just makes me way too happy!

So those were the reasons why I burst out in tears today…
What made you happy today? What/who makes your day? Leave an answer in the comments, I’ll talk to you later. 🙂

Oh, and WELCOME to our newest member of the awkward family: Problems with infinity! I hope you’ll enjoy my blog, just don’t expect a lot of activity on here 😛

That’s all. Stay happy, stay awkward.
(Was that a cheesy ending? Let me know if you think I should use it more often. K. Bye.)

You wanna date? Or nah…?

Hey guys! So, now I fancy someone. A LOT. He’s amazing, and when I’m around him I get really nervous. I can’t help but wonder, though; Is he out of my league? I hope not. Is that even a thing? Being out of someone’s league? Or is that just in movies? I don’t know… Anyway, I think I’m gonna ask him out. If I can man up (or woman up, I tried to be funny…) enough to do it.

something else has also got into my mind lately: I want to write a book. Not just a normal book, but a book that I write throughout my whole life. A self-biography, yes, but quite different. I’m thinking I’ll write a new chapter each year, so that it is as if the reader follows me through my entire life. I don’t know, it sounds exciting for me, at least. Let me know if you would read such a book. 🙂

Oh, and one last thing: Welcome, my dear new followers! And welcome aboard to S.S. Weirdness! That was weird, I’m sorry… :3

K.

U rock, byyee!

Work it!

Hey guys!

So, I haven’t written anything in, like, forever. Well, I’m here now, so… Surprise! Sorry about being weird right now but that’s how I become when I’ve had lots of candy and it’s getting late (21:30) but deal with it okay, cuz dat’s jus’ da way I live, yo. Ok…

So, I’ve started working out a little bit. As a 15 year old girl, looking good is VEEEEERY important, you know? And, I’m NOT exactly the slimmest or fittest or the one with the most booty or the biggest boobies, but hey, it’s never too late to try, right?

So, it’s not like I go to the gym and lift and stuff, but I’ve been jogging for five-six days in a row, and doing squats and sit-ups, and trying to do some push-ups every day. :3

So, it’s one week since I started this workout shit, and I must say that I feel much more confident already, although you probably can’t even see any difference.

Yet, here I am, eating candy, feeling like shit because I’m sooo unhealthy… But it’s sooo good… Just a little crisps… And a little chocolate… Well, some days with jogging makes up for it, right? RIGHT? :\

I just noticed that almost every paragraph starts with “so,” hahahaha dat’s funny, not funny, I’m tired, sorry not sorry byyyeee…

I’m back!

I’ve been gone for a while now. I’m not sure why, I guess I’ve just not been in the mood for blogging.

So anyway. Today I’ve had this feeling that its all gonna work out fine, and that I’ve finally found myself. I love that feeling.

I would say that the clothing style I’ve fallen for now is kind of hipster-ish. I love open, checkered shirts with black, basic tank tops or something under. And scarves!

I’m considering to go for a music career when I grow up. I play flute and guitar, and people have often said to me that “im gifted”. Plus, today I just really enjoy music, even more than usual.

So: what do you think? Music career or not? Let me know your thoughts. Because honestly; I don’t know what I wanna do when I grow up.

It’s gonna work out

Recently, it has felt like stuff is working out pretty good. I do homework, I play the flute a lot, I’ve actually recently begun playing guitar. It’s a lot of fun, I’ve played it every day since I begun now.

I feel like I’m finally starting to get a hang of things in my life. I don’t get stressed out because of all my spare time activities, and I get time to do homework and stuff like that. It’s such a relieving feeling to know that its all gonna work out.

I’m starting to think I may get through my junior high-years without totally freaking out. I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, though. Hopefully, for a long time…