Please don’t

Stop. Stop crying. I’m crying again. However this time with good reason. I wasn’t wrong yesterday. I felt like something was wrong, and it was. And it is.

I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want it to be true. I want him to feel the same as I do.

He feels better when not being around technology so much. He feels better when being around people. In real life. So I get it, a long-distance relationship doesn’t work for him. I can’t do anything but respect that. I once wrote on a post-it note that, for me to leave him, he would have to ask me to. And today, he did just that.

Of course, he didn’t say it like that. He just made it clear that he didn’t think it  is going to work out. If it was up to me, it would work out, even if we didn’t speak for weeks, it would work out as long as we just got to talk sometimes. But he can’t help it for not feeling the same way. Different people have different needs, and there is only so much one can take.

I’m glad he’s feeling better, though. I hope it continues that way. I wish for only bright days for him. I love him. So I’ll do as he wishes.

Don’t think I’m trying to make him seem like a bad guy, okay? He is the kindest person I’ve ever met. He is amazing in so many ways, and I’ve never felt so safe with anyone ever before. I wish for all the best for him. And at this point, the best for him is to be around people, reading books, things that don’t include technology. Of course I am upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. As I said in a post not long ago: At the end of the day, it is up to him.

So I hope your day is good, guys…

Stay happy, stay awkward

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I’m not sad. I’m angry.

Life’s certainly full of bullshit.

People say one thing, you think they really mean it.

You think those words came straight from their hearts.

Maybe not.

Apparently not.

Fuck it all.

People say something, then something happens, and less than a month later they’re saying those excact words to someone else.

He got over it quickly.

Today he changed his status from “single” to “in a relationship”.

Fuck it all.

Stay happy, stay awkward…

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Hey guys. Remeber my ¨boyfriend¨? The guy I met on Hot or not? Well, what I knew would happen, just happened.

He got straight to the case. And these are the exact words he said, except not in English: ¨I don’t think we should be together anymore.¨ I knew it would happen some time, I mean, I wasn’t expecting us to be together and then move in together and stuff, but I mean, it really surprised me. He didn’t show any signs that he was going to break up. Not at all. I actually felt like things were going really nicely between us, we joked around, chatted until way after midnight and all in all being happy…

Well, apparently, there’s someone else. I kind of wanna ask him about her, but I feel like it’s none of my business. I at least want to know if they’re already together or if he just has feelings for her. I don’t know.

There’s so many questions running through my head. Has he been thinking about this for a long time? Will we continue to talk, and just be friends? (I really don’t want to just stop talking to him, because we’ve gotten to know each other so well…) Who is this other girl? Will I be upset about this for a long time?

I didn’t think I was going to cry about this, because at first I just thought ¨well… That was that, then?¨ Then I went to my room, and there was the tears, alright.

Well, that was pretty muvh it. I’ll talk to you later, hopefully about something happy or funny or something like that.

Bye.