Mess / Friends

My life is a mess. A big, tragic mess.

Okay it’s not really such a mess. I suppose that, for someone watching from the outside, my life is nothing special. It’s an alright life. And it is. My life is alright, I suppose. It’s the inside that is a mess.

My emotions are all over the place. I feel like crying, yet I can’t cry. I feel happy, yet I feel sad. It’s still better than being disconnected from it all, though.

I am not sure what I’m doing, and I am not sure what I should be doing. I feel quite confused about a lot of things.

On a happier note, however:

I’m being more social than usual. I’ve been spending more time with my friends. It feels rather nice.

I feel like I’ve really bonded with two of my friends over the past couple of days. I’ve learned that they are actually here for me, more so than I used to think. I showed them what I really feel, and their response made me so happy. ย They helped me realise that I actually don’t need to go through everything alone. They let me know they’re here for me, no matter what.

I am not alone. And neither are you, whoever you who is reading this is. If you feel alone, look around and you’ll see someone. I am sure of it.

We are not alone on this planet filled with people.

Stay happy, stay awkward.

Happiness

Have you ever just… well… felt really fucking happy?
I’m talking happy as in so happy that you don’t know what to do with yourself? Have you ever felt like that?

That happened to me today. I just suddenly thought about everything, and started crying… Yes, I cried. I guess that’s my body’s reaction to overwhelming feelings, wether it be sadness, embarrassment or happiness.

Now, if you’re wondering what made me feel so happy so suddenly, here’s all the reasons I came up with:

1. I’m just in a generally good mood today.
I’ve been in a good mood pretty much the entire day.

2. I struggled with math, but suddenly understood everything.
Big math test tomorrow=stress. I didn’t understand anything, then, completely out of the blue, I understood everything.
3. It’s my birthday soon.
A bit childish to be excited about my birthday? No, not to me. Besides, I’ll be on a bus to Russia on my birthday, so that’s a little different from my normal birthdays…

4. I’m almost done with the worst part about school.
Finals weeks are coming up, which means they’ll soon be over. Thank goodness.

5. I have someone, someone who I like, who likes me, he’s amazing.
Yep, I’ve met someone. He’s incredible, we’ve got the same taste in music, we both practice taekwon-do, he’s really handsome, he thinks I’m cute and yeah… ^^

6. All of the above, and lots of little things like chill school days, good mood, great friends etc. just makes me way too happy!

So those were the reasons why I burst out in tears today…
What made you happy today? What/who makes your day? Leave an answer in the comments, I’ll talk to you later. ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh, and WELCOME to our newest member of the awkward family: Problems with infinity! I hope you’ll enjoy my blog, just don’t expect a lot of activity on here ๐Ÿ˜›

That’s all. Stay happy, stay awkward.
(Was that a cheesy ending? Let me know if you think I should use it more often. K. Bye.)