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Hey guys. Remeber my ¨boyfriend¨? The guy I met on Hot or not? Well, what I knew would happen, just happened.

He got straight to the case. And these are the exact words he said, except not in English: ¨I don’t think we should be together anymore.¨ I knew it would happen some time, I mean, I wasn’t expecting us to be together and then move in together and stuff, but I mean, it really surprised me. He didn’t show any signs that he was going to break up. Not at all. I actually felt like things were going really nicely between us, we joked around, chatted until way after midnight and all in all being happy…

Well, apparently, there’s someone else. I kind of wanna ask him about her, but I feel like it’s none of my business. I at least want to know if they’re already together or if he just has feelings for her. I don’t know.

There’s so many questions running through my head. Has he been thinking about this for a long time? Will we continue to talk, and just be friends? (I really don’t want to just stop talking to him, because we’ve gotten to know each other so well…) Who is this other girl? Will I be upset about this for a long time?

I didn’t think I was going to cry about this, because at first I just thought ¨well… That was that, then?¨ Then I went to my room, and there was the tears, alright.

Well, that was pretty muvh it. I’ll talk to you later, hopefully about something happy or funny or something like that.

Bye.

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Claustrophobia, nervousness and Comfort zones

Hey guys.

Just so you know, I don’t really have claustrophobia, but I have panicked before when I was in a tiny room. Like, one time, in middle school, a couple of friends and I buried each other in the snow. So it was my turn, and my entire body was covered with snow, exept for my mouth and nose, for breathing. Suddenly, I just panicked. My friends laughed, because they thought I was joking, but I  actually started crying. I couldn’t get up either, because the snow was too heavy. So, when they understood that I was being serious, they got me out of thhe snow and hugged me. I can still remember the horrible feeling of not being able to get out of the pile of snow. It makes me really nervous to just think about it.

I get a similar feeling every time I do something embarrasing or have to stay in a place I don’t really want to be. For example: I’m not really a social person. I like hanging out with friends, but I also need some time alone each day, if not, I get this claustrophobic feeling. I’ve experiendced this probably too many times, but I’m still living.

Do you think it’s healthy to push yourself out of your comfort zone? I’m not so sure. I mean, it’s probably good for you to do little things, like raising your hand more often in class, or try and talk more to people who talk to you instead of saying mostly ¨yes¨ and ¨no¨. but when it comes to doing Things that makes you shake by  just thinking about doing them? I don’t know, at least for me, I don’t think it’s really a good thing. See, I just get really nervous, I panick and just want to lock myself into my room for the rest of the day. And I feel like crying. Sometimes I actually cry too. And it feels awful, because I’m crying about nothing. Nothing at all.

Do you ever feel like this? It would make me feel a lot  better if I knew that other people are like this too. I don’t really know why I wrote this post, I  just felt like I had to get this out of my system. Kind of grumpy today? Yep.

Well, see you next time. Or something like that, because we won’t see each other, but you know what I mean…

Bye.